Teething before 2 months

Is Nisarg teething?

Everyone I shared this doubt with thinks I’m nuts. For one, he was born early. For another, he’s not even two months old yet. Its supposed to begin after four months and supposed to be even later for babies who come early.

Since yesterday, he’s been fussy on and off for no apparent reason. I put him down to nap, then he wakes up almost immediately after, except for the night, which so far continues to be blessedly smooth.

He’s suddenly started drooling, biting his fingers and sometimes (rarely) sucking his knuckles. I can see two white bits under the gum where his two lower front teeth could come. I can also feel those teeth with my finger, though they are inside.

To me, it really seems like he’s teething.

Dayum, this motherhood thing is one thing after another. Seems just yesterday I was complaining about not being able to sleep because of backaches from a huge front. Now, I can sleep very well, but am still exhausted. First the birth, then coming home, breastfeeding every two hours, diarrhoea, gas pains, figuring out pee communication, worrying about his weight gain all through and just as I was celebrating two days of a regular healthy infant, its now this teething thing, or something that seems remarkably like it.

Anyone else had a child that teethed this early? Developmentally, he should be counted a month old or something. He’s still very tiny and not on the weight charts for his age at all. I’m just hoping that this doesn’t create a setback in his weight gain….

Teaching baby to clap

Okay, let me say that I tried, and he seems to get it, but I have no clue how it happened.

I noticed that he will try and imitate things I do, so I made faces. He will stick his tongue out when I stick mine out. He will stare at my face when I smile with no intention of copying. He will smile when I raise my eyebrows with no movement other than blinking around his eyes…

Another stage in this saga was me trying to teach him to clap. I clapped my hands when he was paying attention, and he gave me one of those intent stares that make it clear he has no plans of doing any such thing. Small claps make him all puzzled, and ones where I move my hands obviously entertain him, but no go on doing it himself.

Until this morning. Raka had to leave really early, so we woke up around 5am. Imagine my surprise to see Nisarg next to me wide awake, and clapping!!!

Well, they were not real claps. Sometimes the hands came to the center at slightly different times, other times he hit his stomach, still other times, he brought his hands together and clasped them tight. However, there was no doubt that he was trying to clap.

I promptly sat in front of him and clapped without a sound to help him see the movement, and his legs got into the fray, kicking into the air with excitement. He tried once more.

And… that’s it.

We went back to staring at me while I clapped.

Looks like my guy was trying to clap as a part of playing with his hands and didn’t appreciate the distraction of mom teaching something.

Hmmm… so if you’re trying to teach your baby to clap, here is what I suggest you do:

Please share in a comment how you managed to do it.

Elimination communication at 7 weeks old

Yesterday, I realized that Nisarg cried for a couple of minutes before peeing, and was able to rush him to the wash basin in time to take a diaper free leak quite a few times. I was thrilled, right until before the MIL told me to call up the doctor. Why is it that the baby is crying when he isn’t even wet yet? He must be in pain.

There went my joy at having successfully conquered the gas pains a couple of days ago. In a panic, I called up the doctor, who was busy, busy again, and again, till I could have reached throught the phone to yank the receptionist’s hair and to tell her that this was an emergency!

Finally, I was able to speak with her, and…. anti-climax. Like so many of my worried calls, this one barely rated a yawn. No, nothing to worry about. Babies do it. He will grow out of it….

Why in the world was everyone acting like this was a bad thing to be concerned about or grown out of?

It looked to me that my baby was telling me clearly that he didn’t like being wet, and was crying in anticipation of the upcoming wet, or to tell me, or from fighting the losing battle to prevent the wet…. In any case, it told me that he needed to take a leak and to provide him with appropriate support. Which is good, right? Isn’t that the direction to grow in in any case?

He’s small. So what? He just doesn’t like being wet.

Just to test, I put a disposable diaper on him, like for the night, and he didn’t cry for hours. Possibly, because it doesn’t let him get uncomfortably wet like the cloth ones. So obviously it wasn’t pain from passing urine.

The other mystery got solved in a flash of insight. Why was he telling us so clearly all of a sudden? I realized that he was telling me all through, but what with the gas making him cry all the time, and my own incompetence with understanding him, I didn’t realize till the Bonnisan drops cured the gas and thus the overtiredness. Once the clutter was removed, the normal crying for communication remained, making it seem like it started suddenly.

This was further “confirmed” when I woke up from a nap to change his diaper. I knew that I had to change his diaper even before the crying registered fully and I awoke. Indeed, he was about to take a leak. So somewhere, unconsciously, I had learned to recognize his “pee” crying.

Wow!!!! It suddenly makes me feel like I understand him so much better.

Update: So much for my excitement. This is actually a method to train babies to potty A reader here, Laurie has shared the following links:

http://www.TimL.com/ipt
http://www.pottywhisperer.com

I’ve read them very briefly, but they seem informative. Looks like Nisarg and I discovered a very good way of learning to toilet train all by ourselves. See, I knew this guy was smart. Thank you Laurie.

Update two: Oops. Looks like “Elimination Communication” is a method too. A friend called it so, and I thought she was just talking about what I was telling her happened with us….

Communication Development at 7 weeks old?

I find myself communicating with Nisarg very easily. He is just 7 weeks old. If I have to look back and see what helped me the most, the single biggest thing was observation. Endless observation. Listening. Endless listening.

I found myself constantly putting myself in his shoes and trying to understand the context of his expressions and sounds. He is less than two months old, but I can confidently tell when he is hungry, tired, in pain, excited, scared, etc. Its less easy for him to understand me, but its clear that he understands a couple of things. The first is the most important – he can count on me. The second is more “provable”. He mimics me. He gets it clearly when I make a face and want him to imitate it. He will often attempt after I say “you try it” or similar.

He astounded his massage woman by consistently sticking his tongue out to say “bye” as she left, since she swaddled him and he can’t wave (not that he can if not swaddled). First couple of days, she and the mother in law thought it was coincidence – “babies stick their tongues out all the time”. Sure. But what if they stick it out after you have stuck yours out when they had their mouths firmly closed? We did it and showed, and we still show our tongue on demand. Will post a video.

So far, he will make an “o” with his lips, stick his tongue out, open his mouth wide (convenient for medicines), and tries but can’t wiggle his brows (he frowns).

On a more useful, but less fun vein, he will cry loudly in a certain way when he wants to pee, hold eye contact and make restless movements with his head to burp, and many other actions that I could write down and anyone can confirm. My husband called me when I’d gone to the shop saying that he was crying and wouldn’t stop – kicking out, arching, pulling up his knees…. was he hungry? What to do? Its a sign of his belief in my understanding Nisarg that he asked when I couldn’t really see or hear him. Just the description was enough. Poor baby had gas stuck. Told Raka to put him down, raise his legs and if that didn’t work, pick him, keep changing positions (from one hand to another, on lap, etc) but always horizontal and with legs in the fetal position.

Raka says the baby was relieved almost immediately. Another instance was when I was cooking and heard Nisarg cry. I yelled for Raka to get him to the wash basin for a pee immediately, and that was that.

And I have plans. Plans to help him share more of his world with me. I’m hoping to establish basic yes/no signals. No is easy, crying or frowning, but the yes can be tricky. He needs to realize that he can approve of something and I will pay attention. Well… maybe in a week or two….

Communication makes life much easier for both mother and child. And its not rocket science. All it takes is patience, experimentation and observation. So here is what you can do the next time your baby is telling you something you can’t understand:

Make a guess. You’d be surprised at how much you have noticed without noticing yourself noticing (couldn’t resist)
Respond based on that guess.
Observe your baby. What was the impact of your response? Did the original behaviour change? Become more specific? End? What happened?
More than the first behaviour and the new one, its the change and when it happened that’s the key.

For example, baby may be staring at your face. You respond by turning so that more light falls on your face. Baby may wave his hand in your direction – so your guess that he was “exploring your face” was correct. I sometimes even praise Nisarg for telling me so clearly when something really “clicks” because of this team work. Or, baby may whimper – okay, wrong guess – what could it be? Could he want something? You could ask him that and it becomes a response. Maybe he wanted attention and talk and he will quiet. Maybe he is hungry and will start crying louder when he sees you doing things, but not what he wants….

Soon, you get really quick with this.

This is the failsafe method for communication development with your baby. Even a couple of hours have the power to transform your relationship, and you don’t have to do anything drastically different from what you do.

Bonnisan works miracles with gassy infant!!!

Of course I did a whole load of searching on Bonnisan, and then tasted it myself before even showing baby the bottle….

I’d read all kinds of nice things about it, which kind of reassured me, and the taste is nice – similar to gripe water, so initially I didn’t know what the doctor’s big deal about the whole thing was.

I found out for myself within our first day on the medicine. Two doses in, and the gas pains were audibly lower. Baby was sleeping better, more cheerful and eating more.

We are now into our second day and WOW!!! Nisarg is back to the sweet tempered baby he was before this gas nightmare began. He hasn’t pooped all day today after every day since birth being an experience of a constantly pooping bottom. He still has gas, but its much less and he can pass it without going through agony for every fart or spraying poop along with it. His body just seems so limp and relaxed after feedings.

I’d reached the end of my rope with this gas thing, and desperately needed a miracle. Looks like I got one.

If I add my experience with this medicine, with the research I read, I don’t know why doctors don’t simply prescribe this off the bat, or at least at the first sign of trouble. Its a digestive tonic that does so many things. Just Google it. No point having to suffer through my half baked jargon.

Tips to increase intake and weight gain of breastfed baby

My son, as you all know is underweight and breastfed. Like any concerned mother, I want to see him put on weight consistently. This led me to really look for ways to up his intake and make the best of what he will eat. These insights were priceless and difficult to find on the net – took a lot of careful observation and experimenting.

The milk you feed him. Excess of foremilk and not enough hindmilk will cause gassiness. We know that – lactose overload or foremilk hindmilk imbalance. But why does getting enough hindmilk resolve this? Because hindmilk contains fats in addition to all that the regular stuff in the foremilk and the more the breast is empty, the more fats the milk will contain, making it travel slower through the intestines and get more time to be digested. So, if you have a good milk supply, pump off foremilk and then put the baby to breast. This way, what little quantity the baby drinks will have more calories in it, in addition to saving energy spent in gas pain, fussiness, etc.
Feed at first cues of hunger. Okay, so we can’t always recognize them… Really, when in doubt, offer. When your baby starts following you with his eyes, offer. When baby has been awake for a while since previous feed, offer. If its hot weather and he could be thirsty…. Whatever. Offer. I was really surprised to see how much more than “every two hours” my baby would want to eat. If you catch the hunger before it reaches desperation and fussiness levels, your baby will be that much calmer and eat more.
Don’t stop feeding when your baby takes a break. Often my son will stop drinking because he wants to burp or poop or pee. Getting that done will see him drinking again, if I offer, but he’s not hungry enough to fuss. (He will look at me constantly or stare at my breast though). After burping always offer to continue feeding if baby wants. If you miss this, he’ll just end up asking that much sooner, or god forbid, if you are a time table mom or don’t figure out he’s hungry, he’ll go partially hungry.
Sometimes the baby plays with the nipple, rubs head against breast, arches back alternating with mouthing the nipple, cries, etc. He is NOT refusing milk. He is hungry, but is uncomfortable and can’t focus on it. Most of the time, burping will do the trick, or try calming him, waiting for a poop, helping him release gas. Whether it works to resolve the discomfort or not, sometimes you manage to help enough that he can now drink comfortably.
Don’t soothe a hungry baby when you could feed him. Won’t work for long anyway, and aren’t you trying to increase his growth? Hunger is an opportunity. Even if it means he is eating all the time. If he is constantly asking to feed, obviously he is constantly feeling hungry. Don’t analyse it – “how could he be hungry again so fast?” etc – obviously he is. How doesn’t matter. Could be because he didn’t feed enough last time, or burped after that and now has more space or a growth spurt, or whim/weather…? Sometimes Nisarg will eat almost all the time, and when he settles again, his meals will have increased in size – a growth spurt in appetite?

These tips together probably doubled my son’s intake within a couple of weeks and kept the good doctor beaming in approval though his weight is still off the charts low.

6week doctor's appointment

We had our third doctor’s appointment today. Ever since I started surfing the net and discovered that my baby was “near-term” and “underweight” I’ve been obsessing about getting him on the charts. So much for accepting the baby how it is.

On some level, I think its good for Nisarg that I’m obsessing over his weight, because it makes me extra attentive to his needs. So maybe the mothering instinct is not completely absent when faced with charts….

Anyway, this time, his weight was 4.35kg, which is a gain of 831 grams since the last visit a month ago. Good. He is still off the charts low though. I was thrilled to know that regular charts don’t represent normal breastfed babies and are too high, but unfortunately, he is still low on the WHO charts for breastfed babies. His height is in the third percentile though.

Anyway, the other thing I was obsessing about was vaccinations. We could get them done for free in the government facilities (which I’ve heard are very good), but the darling would get 4 injections instead of the combined vaccine and Hepatitis-B which is only two with the pediatritian. Plus, they are supposed to be painful and cause swelling and fever. I’m terrified of injections myself, and no way would I let my love suffer from a single prick that could be avoided. Plus, the government vaccines won’t do HiB, which protects from pneumonia, influenza and whatnots. Thus, I talked myself out of the cheapest option.

Then the doctor had two options a cheaper one (not really) that was still painful, and a more expensive one which would be “hardly noticed”. Not an easy choice considering how the better one cost twice the other. At Rs.1300/- and 2500/- neither were exactly cheap. Hmm… so I see this baby thing is not going to be a moneysaver.

Anyway, we went, celebrated our weight gain, and got our vaccines with no pain other than that to my wallet.

Considering how Nisarg has been suffering from a loose bowel since birth, I was determined to not leave without some answers. The reading on lactose intolerance had helped, but he was still gassy and still passed motions continuously through the day, though not in as much pain as before.

This time, I talked about the neo-peptin and the gripe water. When I brought up the gripe water, the doctor said to not give it (again) and with a sigh scribbled out a prescription for something called Bonnisan.

Thus armed, we have come home. Hopefully, the direction to travel is greater comfort, joy, love and all that.

Supporting an infant's neck

You look at that fragile little thing and your heart flutters with fear for its safety. You are so scared of jerking that flimsy neck supporting that big head, that you take a full minute before the baby transfers from the bed to your arms.

Well…. Life has a way of enforcing efficiency, as has confidence and observation. Trust me, I learned, and then had conversations with the doctor, other experienced people….

The first sign you get that you may be being too careful with the infant’s nect is when you want to snatch your baby back from the doctor when s/he handles him. Fact is, most infants are able to take movement of the neck comfortably. What you want is to avoid jerks, head dropping from gravity, and such horrible things.

Most of the time, if you are picking up your baby with a hand under its head, you are already doing things right. If you are supporting it in the crook of your arm, that works too, as do many other ways.

Most people will advise you to be super careful, under the belief that better safe than sorry. However, it doesn’t help if you fear damaging your child for life each time you pick him or her up. Babies will move their heads at will and often correct uncomfortable head positions themselves. Sometimes they will nod their heads to angles beyond what they are able to control, and the head will suddenly flop.

My technique is to keep my arm/hand or other body part or soft surface loosely and attentively ready to “catch” the head if it tries to go more than the baby’s usual range of movement. However, I don’t see the sense in immobilizing my son so much that he strengthens his neck through fighting restraints rather than attempting normal movement. This has gotten me grief from my mother-in-law who always holds him like he’s strapped to a splint. However, it hasn’t even earned me a whimper of discomfort from my son.

I don’t think nature ever intended us to keep our offspring unnaturally rigid till some predecided date when they miraculously started not needing support. Nisarg learns to hold his neck every day and keeps getting better at it. He can now raise his head easily when sleeping on his tummy, turns to look in every direction, and will often rub his forehead on my chest or bang his head on my breast himself. He doesn’t seem to have suffered from the wear and tear.

If you are still trying to figure out how and how much to support your infant’s neck:

provide support under neck and head for all horizontal positions, but it is not necessary to restrict any voluntary movement.
Provide support underneath for diagonal positions and be attentive for baby’s movements moving head to positions he can’t control or recover from and and situations where gravity could tax the neck muscles and cause the head to drop. This includes pulling into sitting positions for example
When holding baby upright, there is no real need to keep holding head, though positioning him so that he can rest on your chest or shoulder and keeping one hand on is a good idea. Don’t “hold”, just keep it there for comfort and readiness.

Sensitive parenting

Didn’t want to end the day on a sour note, so I just thought to share an awesome site and a must read for all parents. Aware parenting.

The first time I found this site, it was like coming home. Distressed by my mother-in-law’s insistence to not pick up the baby all the time it cries, and to let it cry because “its good for the lungs”, I was speaking with a friend about how disturbed I was with such an attitude, when she told me about how she disciplines her children by taking away some previlege when they are naughty. This made sense on the surface, but “felt wrong”.

Considering that I was pregnant around when this happened, call it hormones, or inexperience, but I was getting increasingly insecure about my ability to raise my upcoming child, as everyone around me assured me that such permissiveness and listening to the child would only end in unruly children. I had no intention of doing any punishing what-so-ever. I had begun fearing that I may have bitten off more than I could chew by planning a child when I was obviously going to wreck its life as I would be unable to give it the kind of guidance it needed. My plan was more about role-modelling than disciplining. The back up plan was “keep living the love I feel, no matter what”. What seemed like a good plan when I thought about it was falling to pieces with every bit of advice I got on the subject.

When I read this site, I literally felt like I finally came home, if home is where the heart lies. I didn’t disagree with a word in there. It was like the writer simply took my wishes, organized them and wrote them out.

If you have a child, are a caregiver for a child, have a child as a close relative, or have ever interacted with a child, this site, and her books are for you. Its rare to find the insight of emotions we are used to applying to adults applied directly to children. And no, I don’t even know the author. This is complete promotion because of conviction.

For that matter, forget children, and simply live these values with anyone you know, and you will transform your life.

Travel tips to India

While searching for diaper rash because I wanted to know what its like, I came across a page with the stupidest information for visitors traveling to India with infants. Not only is it factually incorrect, it stinks of pseudo superiority.

I have a lot of friends who are foreigners (as in non-Indians). Many of them have kids. Some bring their kids here, a few have given birth in India. The top three things I hear from parents of infants about their India experience are:

The tradition of post-partum massage in India totally rocks. Its the ultimate in pampering, and the stomach binding methods really help new moms get back into shape.
India is a place to be experienced anew through the wonder of a young child.
If you want to potty train your kid, bring him to India, and let a few of the grannies at him/her. Quick, painless and blessed freedom from marathon diapering.

I also know quite a few Indians who have settled abroad. These people seem to have lost touch with their sense of wonder in their need for looking down at the very things they grew up and flourished on. Take for example this article with its snobbish approach.

Number one problem in India is mosquitoes! Wow!!! And what problems Harish faces with them. Mosquito nets are too hot, coils are a bad idea (I agree). odomos is unsafe for children, and to bring electronic repellents before entering India. This guy has seriously lost touch with what India has become. Whatever happened to the liquid repellents like All out? Odomos works fine on kids as young as you like as long as you don’t apply it on areas babies suck – hands. I don’t even know that it does harm if applied to hands.
Water is a big problem. Sure – in some places, but bringing a kettle from US of A to boil it? The smallest roadside dhaba will give you all the boiled water in a clean utensil you want for free. Never mind the relatives you have come to meet.
Infant formula can be found in one store in Mumbai? Is this guy nuts or totally clueless about shopping for babies? Its more like one store every 5 minutes in any direction.
Not to bring babies under 2 years, one year etc. And here I was, an idiot for thinking that breastfed babies would have better immunity as well as make water problems irrelevant. Though if the guy has “psuedo-civilized” enough, he probably thinks breastfeeding is something the primitive Indians do and real babies thrive on formula.

Oh, I could go on and on and on…. but one thing leaps to my mind. Cheerful parents make cheerful babies and fussy parents make fussy babies. What wonder is it if the baby keep suffering because that seems to be all the parent can see?

While I hate to stereotype, this is such a glaring pattern, that I’d be lying if I’d de-nationalized it.

The British have left India, but the hangover of inferiority remains. For many people in India, reaching a place where they are better than other Indians imprisons them from appreciating what is, in their hunt for what’s wrong. They can relocate, but the mind remains in their prison of insecurities. There are two ways to be higher my friend. One is to life life to our best. The other is to push everything near us down. Guess which is easier, and which is more satisfying.

On the other hand, non-Indians enter India with a desire for discovery, prepared fully to enjoy their visit, and they find an enriching experience and adventure in the same land with the same number of shops and availability of products.

We can choose to win or whine. Remember, we will soon have echoes of our words coming out of our children’s mouths. What is the world we want them to discover? What is the attitude we want to encourage?

Nisarga

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Monthly Archives: October 2009