The neurologist and Syndopa

Today, my birthday. No one at home but Nisarga and I. Big plan for the day? Meeting with Dr. Anaita Hegde, who is supposed to be the top or second from top pediatric neurologist in Mumbai. A few odd thoughts sent through my mind:

How can a doctor be ranked top or second from top, etc? Do they have contests or something?
Frankly, I didn’t think Nisarga’s symptoms are neurological. Or they might be, but I used to think its related with his lack of head control and increasingly scoliotic tendency because of that (in my mind), but as a parent, I didn’t have the guts to not act on any advice I get – and a child specialist had said that I must meet a very senior pediatric neurologist.
Difficult getting appointments, so its really a birthday gift that we were able to meet her and it turned out to be a very good meeting.

The meeting went very well. We went with all our increasing paperwork and ended up waiting a lot. Nisarga dozed off and I asked them to let a few of the other waiting patients through before us so that he could be well rested when we met the doctor. Since everything was running HOURS behind schedule, they were grateful for my offer. Of course, I was being utterly selfish. If I had to shell out a lot of money consulting a fancy doctor, I wanted Nisarga bright and cheerful, not wilted from waiting, so that she could really interact with him and examine and whatever it is these people are supposed to do.

While we waited, Dr. Anaita’s assistant (a neurologist herself) came and took a detailed case history. As meetings go, this was probably the most surprising and best of the lot. Dr. Hegde interacted with Nisarga and he was at his charming best. She made quite a few observations related with him scissoing his legs, not being comfortable on his back and other things, and had some conversation and a eureka kind of moment with her assistant.

She was concerned about his regression. He gets these developments, and he loses them. For example, after the bouts of bua bua ba ba boooa etc, he isn’t babbling much at all, while I was expecting him to speak more post that. There are other things too.

She has prescribed something called Syndopa, which is supposed to fix some chemical deficiency in his brain. No side effects, but a miracle cure if it works out. She explained that it was a long shot, but some of the symptoms made her think it was worth trying. Just as we were leaving, she took note of his history of slight jaundice immediately after birth, and considered the possibility that there may be some brain damage – even though the MRI was clear.

I spoke with her about the Feldenkrais work I do with Nisarga. She was very supportive and went to the extent of saying that if it is helping him, to not even ask any more doctors, because he is really the final judge. To not even risk someone asking me to stop! It was a big surprise after the unrelenting skepticism of most doctors so far.

Brought him home, fed him, gave him his first dose of Syndopa. Perhaps its my imagination, but after his second dose, I think he is more active. Fingers crossed.

10 ways to develop head control in an infant

A friend has a daughter who was born a couple of months after Nisarga. She has hypotonia and is having trouble getting her daughter to do many things. She goes with him to a physiotherapist, but is feeling rather discouraged. As we chatted, I realized that with Nisarga having low muscle tone as well, and considering the amount of research and experimenting I do into encouraging movement, I had tons of very useful advice to offer.

We spoke about many milestones and specific motor achievements over a week or so of extensive chatting, and I am planning to share the ideas as different posts focused on specific subjects.

This one focuses on encouraging head control. Here are the different things I do (and some I haven’t yet done) with Nisarga:

Tummy time. Lots of it. If your baby doesn’t like tummy time, put them on their tummies, and pick them up the moment they complain. Don’t force them to endure it, but don’t stop providing opportunities. With Nisarga, I found that these things often depend on mood. Sometimes, he can lie on his tummy indefinitely, other times, he will start crying even before he hits the ground. So don’t be in a hurry to decide that your baby doesn’t like tummy time, it may simply be their mood – tired, hungry, gas, sleepy, etc.
Carry him upright. Carry in your arms, in a baby carrier…. this gives them opportunities to manage his head without having to lift it against gravity.
Lying chest to chest on you as you recline. This is a modified kind of tummy time where he doesn’t have to bear so much weight on his hands and can lift his head to look at your face – motivation and ease.
Put a rolled up towel under his armpits when on tummy to help him look up easier. N doesn’t really need this, as he’s happy to look up.
Carry him facing the floor with his tummy on your arm.
Swing him tummy down like an aeroplane
Encourage him to look around. Move toys so that he has to turn his head to see them, show him things as you carry him around, get others in the home to call him so that he turns to look.
One exercise I play is to sit him on my knees facing front. I look over one shoulder and call to him and give him a kiss. Then I do the same over the other shoulder. After a while he should start anticipating your moves and look at you and smile. (Not for very young babies, I guess)
Talk to him as you move around the room so that he turns to look at you. Most infants will naturally want to follow their parents with their eyes (mothers in particular)
Sit him on your knees or on a big rubber ball, hold him carefully and with enough support for his head, and sway him to music or a rhyme. You can also tilt him from side to side and front and back. Begin with small movements and move to larger movements only when he starts enjoying this. This helps him learn to make small corrections to keep his head upright.

Keep everything fun. It is not going to work if your child is resisting what is happening, since his energy will then not be with ‘flowing’ with the activity, but in avoiding it. Also, something fun for both of you is likely to be repeated regularly to coax laughs out of the little charmer than something that is an ordeal.

Its a new day

Nisarga is in great spirits today. Laughing, talking with us and himself if we aren’t around, trying to get his feet to his mouth….

Its a busy life for a busy little baby.

We had our first bath in a bright inflatable tub I got from a friend, and Nisarga discovered that water can be splashed, and that it is all great fun. Unfortunately, since I was alone, I was not able to click pictures, but I will try and post some from our next bath. This little guy splashed furiously, and then grinned from ear to ear at what he was able to do.

I am learning to see the little delights of life.

When I had my bath after he was done, I splashed a little water too, and it was all great fun. It didn’t have a purpose, so I guess I didn’t do it anymore, but I find that the purpose of joy is good enough for me these days.

Transformation

I have learned living in a whole new way from my son.

For a long time, I’d been wondering, where do I express this. The transformation is manifesting in my personal life, so it could go on my personal blog, the transformation is manifesting in my professional life, so it should go on my professional blog, and the source of the transformation is Nisarga, so it belongs here. As you see, I am here, sharing this.

What is this transformation?

Before Nisarga was born, I had committed to myself that I would not blindly do anything without understanding what I was up to.

When he was born, I discovered that I pretty much knew nothing. Of course, it was my first child. What did I know? I started finding out. I discovered that if I was paying attention, I understood him very well. Life is simple. Smile is yes, frown is no, intent gaze is interest, show me more.

I discovered that responses change, and what brought a smile usually, may not be liked at all at some time. It was a learning in constantly seeing with attention, being with caring. This is not as tedious as my description. It is fascinating to discover that like me, like any other person, this little guy is taking in the world around him, selecting what to pay attention to, and has his own opinions about it.

Seeing how explanations don’t make sense to him, I learned to move away from them, and simply be with what is, however inexplicable, and discovered that it is. It doesn’t need explanations to be possible, because it already is. If he wants to nurse fifteen minutes after he was done, it doesn’t matter why. What matters is that he is hungry. The ‘Again?’ of surprise is irrelevant too. Living in the now means he needs me to nurse him. I don’ need to understand why, just do the needful. He has his own reasons, and no one else needs to know.

With time, I became so used to this, that explanations are dissolving from my life leaving my mind free to really see the need without analyzing its validity with everyone. Relationships are unfurling from the haze of unnecessary judgments I didn’t even know I used to clutter myself with. I find myself listening, really listening, and the responses I get reflect the new freedom I haves started bringing with me.

Life is different. Intimate. Rewarding.

And I can see how a child gives birth to a parent. I’ll go ahead and say that it is silly to focus on teaching your child, when there is so much you can learn.

Unschooling Nisarga

Okay, its world war three, and as usual, I’m in the thick of things. This time, it is a stray comment that Nisarga will not go to school. This has sparked a minor wave of arguments. Many have shaken their heads wryly thinking that its yet another of my strange ideas. Those who know me better have started their own campaigns of explaining how school is necessary to a well rounded childhood (as though they have explored options), how it will be difficult to sustain year after year the strain of educating the child, and more.

I find schools overrated.

I have been in one as a child. While not traumatized, it isn’t something to write home about.

My reasons for deciding to unschool Nisarga:

Schooling is a huge investment in time. Compared with the time I invested in it, I have got precious little back. That is not to say I didn’t learn anything. It is simply saying that much of what I learned is rarely useful in life, and many things I learned actually harm my well being in real life.
Schools teach us to quantify people based on a standard scale. We don’t really need much of what we learn in school, and most of what we need to learn in life, we learn from life. Yet, kids start believing themselves as clever or dumb based on what some ambitious bunch of teachers decides as life skills.
The education system has no real way to impart necessary knowledge. One may argue that maths, science, history, language, etc are the foundations of learning. One may argue that they are certainly not. The fact is that very few schools actually prepare you for life. With calculators all around, I see no reason for my son to waste some of the prime developmental years of his life learning methods to divide 679676876 by 5875. Been there, done that, and never done it in real life. Always used a calculator – on my phone, my computer…
Many subjects of knowledge are not covered though we pretend they are. Art for example is a joke. So is language, where a student will actually be considered ‘less’ for using slang, or ‘street language’ which is really an important part of speech in real life.
Students are carefully molded into prescribed human beings and measured according to their ability to conform. This is actual damage.
Think of all the life experience that he actually can learn things of interest to him that he can fit in in the coming 16 years (basic schooling). Travel, experimentation, art, science, people skills, computers, television, whatever. Whatever works. Once we aren’t obliged to measure our worth from standardized and useless examinations, there remains no real need to limit ourselves to prescribed learning and tentatively dabbling in our real interests. I see no reason why a kid can’t play video games all day and then grow up to make a living out of it. Or to play with colors and become an artist. Or to take apart things, improvise and then become an engineer or scientist. Or to become all of the above because he wants to, or to choose something else altogether.
I suspect that schools often serve the purpose of keeping the kids occupied for parents who would much rather not have the hassle of dealing with their growth. This is not needed for me. I enjoy growing with him

I am not planning on teaching my child anything at all. Let alone school. I will share what I find important if he finds it interesting. If he doesn’t, there is really no need for him to learn to do maths (for example) till he needs it and figures it out. Or to know about all the countries in the world or to read history only to forget it. The big thing I am going to do to support his growth is to stop interfering with my own ideas of what is best for him.

For all those of you concerned that I’m going to ‘ruin’ my child, I appreciate your concern, and share my trust that he is a person and if learning turns out to be essential, he is capable of making a choice to engage in it as much as he likes.

If you have read this far, and see some value in what I say, I’d like to share that I have also discovered that unschooling is practiced by many people over the world. That is how I realized that my “no intention of sending my child to school (since before I even married)” actually had a name, and my instinct was indeed leading me to something many involved and caring parents found value in. You may find out more on:

http://www.naturalchild.org
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/

This is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a whole new world waiting to be discovered.

This is unorthodox. I know. But then I have never really been famous for following the rules.

PS: If you wish your child to excel in maths, this article is a must read.

Our first tooth at 3 months!!!

I have been busy with a super needy baby for the past couple of days with no time to haunt this blog at all.

He has been fussy and clingy for the past couple of days, which is fine because I enjoy holding him, but sad because he seems so unhappy. I was wondering constantly about what his problem was. If you remember, I’d written a post the over a month ago, when he wasn’t even two months old thinking he was teething. Everyone assured me I was mistaken and that he was too young. Then, it seemed to ease and I believed I was mistaken too about the symptoms.

He’s been super drooly since then and tends to have whiny moods, which too everyone assured me was a part of growing up.

Today, as I looked into his mouth, there it was – a tiny white ridge over a very drooly gum. Its still not out, but its right there. Apparently, it will still take time to come out, and that’s what his discomfort is all about, but I’m glad to know that I did understand his body language correctly.

I feel so helpless sometimes to understand what my little man is trying to tell me.

Funny Little Baby

Baby playing in his cradle

I was working at something on the computer, when Nisarga’s piercing wail scared me to bits. I jumped from my chair and rushed to him in record time. Imagine what this guy’s problem was?

He had woken up quietly and was playing on his own, I guess. These days, he grabs the rods on the side of the cradle. I found him like that, holding the rod strongly, and trying very hard to move his hand, crying in fear because it was stuck!!!

I opened his tiny fist from the rod and his hand shot free. I had earned myself a teary smile.

Bad, bad cradle had trapped my precious child

The first week with your newborn

The first week passes in a daze of information overload and sleep deprivation. Everything is new, emotional…..

Too much is happening. The body has gone through a tough time, a whole new person is attached to me like superglue for the foreseeable future, too many people coming over to meet, well meaning advice being shoved down your throat, well intentioned help invading my private space, information overload and not enough time to process it, no sleep, joy, anxieties, bringing the baby home……

For me, the first week was actually tougher than the birth.

Caring for gassy infant – How to treat gas in infant

Here’s some tips on caring for gassy infants born from my trial by fire:

At the FIRST sign of gas – crying, squirming, passing very little gas after a lot of action… use neopeptine. I’d say, when in doubt, use neopeptine too.
Comfort baby. Cuddle in fetal position. This brings legs closer to stomach and naturally helps pass gas, while making the baby feel secure.
Feed baby. Babies tend to have bowel movements (or attempts) when feeding. The feeding comforts as well as helps them move the gas along.
Put some massage oil (coconut oil should be fine) on your hands and rub the tummy gently. G-e-n-t-l-y. You are not trying to squeeze the gas out. Just soothe and encourage movement.
Move the baby a lot. The squirming that is tiring your baby out is basically the baby moving to help pass gas. You can be a huge help to baby here. Rock, swing, exercise legs in bicycling motions, hold legs up like for a diaper change….. keep changing positions. The baby will not settle till the gas passes, so a position change is only temporary relief. Don’t let the infant get all worked up when it loses its effectiveness, move to a different position.
Of course, when a position soothes baby, hold it for longer, or move to something else quickly.
The end of the baby that gas is expected to exit has to be higher. Gas rises, remember? So, if your baby is moving his head restlessly, rocking back and forth, etc, hold him vertical, pat back, encourage burp. If he is squirming the whole body, drawing up legs and kicking them out, etc. Put horizontal and raise legs, cuddle in cradle hold, lightly rub small circles on lower back, etc.

These are things to do while your baby is suffering. If you are breastfeeding your infant, it might help to look into fore-milk hind-milk imbalance or lactose overload (NOT lactose intolerance), which I have written about earlier.

Infant ear pain

Another nightmare night.

Nisarg started fussing around bedtime and crying on and off. By 1am, he was crying full blown out. Screaming wails, hiccups, gasps, chokes, scary breathless sounds, constant screaming interspersed with exhausted and restless dozes he came out of within a couple of minutes.

I was scared. I woke up Raka around 4am feeling really scared, and the two of us spent another hour of the night feeling helpless, soothing, begging, bribing, whatever, but no go. By 5am, he was so tuckered out that he slept fitfully, sobbing at times in his sleep and waking up screaming if we put him down. So I held him, staring at that dear face with the swollen eyes, listening anguished to those slight sobs and gasps that continued as he slept.

Since he also was farting, I assumed it was a really bad case of gas.

By 6am, he was gone enough that he didn’t stir when I put him down, and I had a nap myself.

He woke up around 8am hungry, and slept through his feed and I put him back down. It was when he woke up screaming again at 11am that we got really scared and went to the doctor. The doctor thinks it might be his ear hurting him, since moving his head makes him cry more. She gave us something for it – Atarax drops. We are supposed to give 10 drops half an hour after Neopeptine for today, and without the Neopeptin for two more days. I guess we are covering our bases whether its ear pain or gas.

I think its gas because he passes wind when he cries and calms for a bit…. but then, is the wind passing from his straining when he cries, or is he crying because of it? Who knows? Its a chicken or egg thing.

Its such a horrible, horrible thing to see him in pain and not even be sure of what’s causing it.

He was crying again in the afternoon for a bit and then I think the medicine took hold. He’s sleeping as I write this. Totally deep sleep. This is crazy and not at all how I imagined being a mom to be. I’m willing to slay dragons and sacrifice whatever it takes for this guy, but hey, where is the dragon and what exactly is needed? No one told me it was such a tormenting guessing game!

Nisarga

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