Beautiful morning

Woke up this morning to the music of Nisarg cooing loudly and waving his hands. It was quite clear he was trying to get my attention while I’d been sleeping.

He was hungry. My little sunflower had unfurled for the day, and smiling!!! What a lovely morning.

We had this beautiful feeding time with the early morning sounds of birds in the jamun tree outside. Nature indeed welcoming Nisarga into the day. All done, we both rolled back into bed and slept for another couple of hours all cuddled up.

These days he has discovered that he can make sounds to get our attention, so the crying is becoming even less (he wasn’t much of a crier to begin with) and we hear these really loud shouts “aaaae”

It is music to a mother’s heart to hear her son “call” her instead of crying helplessly. My little boy is growing!

Two month old using sign language

Okay, Nisarg is definitely using sign language. I’d thought so earlier.

Since then, he’s signed “milk” a couple of times more. I’d been trying to get a video, but he does it rather absently, and when I approach with my phone in hand, he starts interacting with me, waving and sucking his fist. Finally, I was able to capture the tail end of it as he got hungry when my mother-in-law was holding him….. Its not very clear, he does it just once, but check out his right hand. He was doing it with both when I came close and stopped

Things got ugly real fast after I shot this. We had a crying session. I guess he didn’t appreciate me just sitting there watching him when I could feed him.

He does it quite well. Maybe I’ll get a better video in a day or two.

Two month old signing milk?

Okay, its likely that I’m over reacting, but twice (for sure, and once unsure) since yesterday evening, we’ve seen Nisarg opening and closing his fist deliberately – the sign for milk. Both times I responded by offering to feed him, and he was hungry and fed well.

I show him the baby signing time video often because its bright and has music and stuff. He enjoys the music, and watches on and off. I had never thought he was paying attention. Perhaps he isn’t. I also do the sign for milk while I’m feeding him. That is something he definitely notices, as he is always looking intently at me as he feeds. I think he has realized that the sign for milk is accompanied by or followed by a feed.

Now, the question is if this is a coincidence or deliberate?

Everything I’ve read about baby sign language indicates that babies don’t start signing till they are 6 months old, as they don’t have that kind of coordination till then. On the other hand, Nisarg is definitely opening and closing his hands when he is hungry. It is not a very proper opening and closing – more like an uncurling of his fingers and curling back – neither does he make a proper fist, nor does he make his fingers completely straight.

It is quite likely that I’m imagining things.

On the other hand, a friend who runs a developmental toys library made an insightful comment when I told her about Nisarg letting me know when he wants to pee. She said, “They are telling us a great many things all through. It is about how observant and intuitive we are.” She thought it was a sign of my sensitivity and attention that I picked up his cues and we had a day without wetting a single diaper.

So I like to think that Nisarg is making the sign for milk. Whether he is actually trying to tell me, or simply hungry and remembers that sign as associated with feeding, I don’t know. He does it quite absently, like he is when he is talking to himself. As opposed to when he coos to us. So I think maybe he remembers the sign when he is hungry, without actually signing for us as such.

I’ll try to shoot a video and post it here, and you guys can tell me what you think.

Update: I tried this time when he did it, and he got distracted and started interacting with me…. So no go. Will try again when he does it.

Tips on teaching a baby to clap

Oooookay, I think we have cracked the clap code (though not actually clapped), which if you consider that Nisarg is not even 3 months yet, is pretty amazing.

The little guy has figured out that its all about swinging his hands together, but doesn’t yet have the co-ordination to quite make them meet….

If you want to teach your baby to clap, and he just stares back and blows spit bubbles at you, the following tips might help:

Don’t hurry. ENJOY the fun you are having with baby, no matter what it ends up as. Babies sense you enjoying yourself, and it tempts them to enter the action you are leading.
Pick your time. Don’t just pester the poor darling morning and night. The idea is to find a time when baby is alert, awake and quiet.
Talk baby talk with your baby. Get his attention. You want him really looking at you, observing.
Clap with an exaggerated movement (with an obvious swing of your hands). Laugh and share the joke with baby and do more baby talk.
Do this a couple of times, and baby will likely get buzzed enough to wave his hands. Get all excited about that, and clap some more and wait, as though you are fully expecting him to do the same. If baby doesn’t respond, fine. Do something else. Repeating clapping a couple of times, or playfully clapping his hands together will work as interactive fun, but don’t turn it into a lesson. It will not make him clap, if he stops enjoying it.

This is it. The whole session. Praise whatever swings baby makes, and clap in response. Eventually, the little darling is going to figure out how to make the hands meet when he swings them.

Right brain development in infants

There is a wealth of information on right brain development in infants and how it can’t be started early enough and resources and all that. Like any other obsessed mother out there, I’m researching ways to entertain him in a manner that stimulates his development, and so far am doing pretty much exactly what came instinctively anyway.

Talking a lot to him, teasing him to win those smiles, carrying him around and showing stuff, making funny faces and exaggerated actions, etc.

The funny part is that the actions get him looking all solemn and puzzled at me when I’d have thought he’d laugh. He looks like he wants to ask “Hey, you okay? You seemed fine a minute ago”

What I’m planning to do:

Flash cards. He still sleeps most of the time, and seems supremely uninterested in the flashcards most of the time. So I guess this is going to be an acquired taste. At the moment, he’ll look at the cards very briefly and mostly look at my face as though trying to figure out what in the world I’m trying to do.
Touch: He gets his massage and bath every day, and we often cuddle at bedtime. Other than that, he loves touch in general. Stroke his head, body, face-but-NOT-nose, and he’s virtually purring. I give him lots of other stuff to touch too – the plastic of his toys – hard, soft, bags…, rubber mat, soft cotton swaddling cloth, other cloth materials, sponge, wood, …. whatever we can lay our hands on
Smell: So far, we like a couple of perfumes and sneeze at frying smells from the kitchen. Vicks , milk and baby powder are at the top.
Movement: I carry him around in my arms, in a sling…. lift him high, dance with him in my arms, … He pretty much enjoys it all indiscriminately
Mimicry: I do all kinds of stuff for him to copy. So far we have managed to stick our tongues out (both imitating me and when told), clap (sort of) and blink. He will suck instead of kiss, and we understand the sign for milk (I like to imagine), but can’t copy. I guess he’s too hungry and small to focus while hungry yet. Thing is, he enjoys all this stuff and is mostly waving arms and feet full power with that undecided half-smile on his face.
Music: He likes most music (other than a couple of really loud songs, and Anup Jalota) Favourites being nursery rhymes in Marathi, and Usha Uthups Karadi Rhymes followed closely by Shakti and Ghulam Ali.

And here I am, saying that I don’t get to do much because he sleeps so much. I guess its more about being aware of how much we are doing.

Teaching baby to clap

Okay, let me say that I tried, and he seems to get it, but I have no clue how it happened.

I noticed that he will try and imitate things I do, so I made faces. He will stick his tongue out when I stick mine out. He will stare at my face when I smile with no intention of copying. He will smile when I raise my eyebrows with no movement other than blinking around his eyes…

Another stage in this saga was me trying to teach him to clap. I clapped my hands when he was paying attention, and he gave me one of those intent stares that make it clear he has no plans of doing any such thing. Small claps make him all puzzled, and ones where I move my hands obviously entertain him, but no go on doing it himself.

Until this morning. Raka had to leave really early, so we woke up around 5am. Imagine my surprise to see Nisarg next to me wide awake, and clapping!!!

Well, they were not real claps. Sometimes the hands came to the center at slightly different times, other times he hit his stomach, still other times, he brought his hands together and clasped them tight. However, there was no doubt that he was trying to clap.

I promptly sat in front of him and clapped without a sound to help him see the movement, and his legs got into the fray, kicking into the air with excitement. He tried once more.

And… that’s it.

We went back to staring at me while I clapped.

Looks like my guy was trying to clap as a part of playing with his hands and didn’t appreciate the distraction of mom teaching something.

Hmmm… so if you’re trying to teach your baby to clap, here is what I suggest you do:

Please share in a comment how you managed to do it.

Elimination communication at 7 weeks old

Yesterday, I realized that Nisarg cried for a couple of minutes before peeing, and was able to rush him to the wash basin in time to take a diaper free leak quite a few times. I was thrilled, right until before the MIL told me to call up the doctor. Why is it that the baby is crying when he isn’t even wet yet? He must be in pain.

There went my joy at having successfully conquered the gas pains a couple of days ago. In a panic, I called up the doctor, who was busy, busy again, and again, till I could have reached throught the phone to yank the receptionist’s hair and to tell her that this was an emergency!

Finally, I was able to speak with her, and…. anti-climax. Like so many of my worried calls, this one barely rated a yawn. No, nothing to worry about. Babies do it. He will grow out of it….

Why in the world was everyone acting like this was a bad thing to be concerned about or grown out of?

It looked to me that my baby was telling me clearly that he didn’t like being wet, and was crying in anticipation of the upcoming wet, or to tell me, or from fighting the losing battle to prevent the wet…. In any case, it told me that he needed to take a leak and to provide him with appropriate support. Which is good, right? Isn’t that the direction to grow in in any case?

He’s small. So what? He just doesn’t like being wet.

Just to test, I put a disposable diaper on him, like for the night, and he didn’t cry for hours. Possibly, because it doesn’t let him get uncomfortably wet like the cloth ones. So obviously it wasn’t pain from passing urine.

The other mystery got solved in a flash of insight. Why was he telling us so clearly all of a sudden? I realized that he was telling me all through, but what with the gas making him cry all the time, and my own incompetence with understanding him, I didn’t realize till the Bonnisan drops cured the gas and thus the overtiredness. Once the clutter was removed, the normal crying for communication remained, making it seem like it started suddenly.

This was further “confirmed” when I woke up from a nap to change his diaper. I knew that I had to change his diaper even before the crying registered fully and I awoke. Indeed, he was about to take a leak. So somewhere, unconsciously, I had learned to recognize his “pee” crying.

Wow!!!! It suddenly makes me feel like I understand him so much better.

Update: So much for my excitement. This is actually a method to train babies to potty A reader here, Laurie has shared the following links:

http://www.TimL.com/ipt
http://www.pottywhisperer.com

I’ve read them very briefly, but they seem informative. Looks like Nisarg and I discovered a very good way of learning to toilet train all by ourselves. See, I knew this guy was smart. Thank you Laurie.

Update two: Oops. Looks like “Elimination Communication” is a method too. A friend called it so, and I thought she was just talking about what I was telling her happened with us….

Communication Development at 7 weeks old?

I find myself communicating with Nisarg very easily. He is just 7 weeks old. If I have to look back and see what helped me the most, the single biggest thing was observation. Endless observation. Listening. Endless listening.

I found myself constantly putting myself in his shoes and trying to understand the context of his expressions and sounds. He is less than two months old, but I can confidently tell when he is hungry, tired, in pain, excited, scared, etc. Its less easy for him to understand me, but its clear that he understands a couple of things. The first is the most important – he can count on me. The second is more “provable”. He mimics me. He gets it clearly when I make a face and want him to imitate it. He will often attempt after I say “you try it” or similar.

He astounded his massage woman by consistently sticking his tongue out to say “bye” as she left, since she swaddled him and he can’t wave (not that he can if not swaddled). First couple of days, she and the mother in law thought it was coincidence – “babies stick their tongues out all the time”. Sure. But what if they stick it out after you have stuck yours out when they had their mouths firmly closed? We did it and showed, and we still show our tongue on demand. Will post a video.

So far, he will make an “o” with his lips, stick his tongue out, open his mouth wide (convenient for medicines), and tries but can’t wiggle his brows (he frowns).

On a more useful, but less fun vein, he will cry loudly in a certain way when he wants to pee, hold eye contact and make restless movements with his head to burp, and many other actions that I could write down and anyone can confirm. My husband called me when I’d gone to the shop saying that he was crying and wouldn’t stop – kicking out, arching, pulling up his knees…. was he hungry? What to do? Its a sign of his belief in my understanding Nisarg that he asked when I couldn’t really see or hear him. Just the description was enough. Poor baby had gas stuck. Told Raka to put him down, raise his legs and if that didn’t work, pick him, keep changing positions (from one hand to another, on lap, etc) but always horizontal and with legs in the fetal position.

Raka says the baby was relieved almost immediately. Another instance was when I was cooking and heard Nisarg cry. I yelled for Raka to get him to the wash basin for a pee immediately, and that was that.

And I have plans. Plans to help him share more of his world with me. I’m hoping to establish basic yes/no signals. No is easy, crying or frowning, but the yes can be tricky. He needs to realize that he can approve of something and I will pay attention. Well… maybe in a week or two….

Communication makes life much easier for both mother and child. And its not rocket science. All it takes is patience, experimentation and observation. So here is what you can do the next time your baby is telling you something you can’t understand:

Make a guess. You’d be surprised at how much you have noticed without noticing yourself noticing (couldn’t resist)
Respond based on that guess.
Observe your baby. What was the impact of your response? Did the original behaviour change? Become more specific? End? What happened?
More than the first behaviour and the new one, its the change and when it happened that’s the key.

For example, baby may be staring at your face. You respond by turning so that more light falls on your face. Baby may wave his hand in your direction – so your guess that he was “exploring your face” was correct. I sometimes even praise Nisarg for telling me so clearly when something really “clicks” because of this team work. Or, baby may whimper – okay, wrong guess – what could it be? Could he want something? You could ask him that and it becomes a response. Maybe he wanted attention and talk and he will quiet. Maybe he is hungry and will start crying louder when he sees you doing things, but not what he wants….

Soon, you get really quick with this.

This is the failsafe method for communication development with your baby. Even a couple of hours have the power to transform your relationship, and you don’t have to do anything drastically different from what you do.

Nisarga

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